Okay. so trying to "write" a sex scene between two characters and have no idea how to go about it. Not the sex: how to write it. I get that I can't describe emotions or thoughts unless I make the character think them, but I'm lost.

So for example, would this be okay:

NAME GRABS NAME#2 and SHOVES her on the BED. NAME PINS her down. NAME TOUCHES her arm.

eh? just actions? I get the impression people don't like being told what to do. Actors are testy people. And I couldn't say, NAME moans. 'cause that's an actor reaction? or a character trait? or a dialogue? ack. help!

Here's a section from American Pie of three sex scenes from the finale.

You can read more at www.dailyscript.com, which has tons of scripts.

INT. STIFLER'S COTTAGE - BEDROOM - NIGHT

Kevin and Vicky. Silently doing it. Curious looks on
their faces. The look you get when your waiter delivers
your food in a fancy restaurant, and you look at the
creation on the plate, and secretly you're not sure if
it's really what you ordered. But you don't say
anything, and you just eat it.

EXT. BEACH - NIGHT

Oz and Heather. Souls entwined. Making love.

INT. STIFLER'S COTTAGE - STIFLER'S BROTHER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

We can hear Jim and Michelle going at it like a couple of
HOWLING BANSHEES over a SERIES OF SHOTS:

-- A piggy bank gets knocked over and shatters.

-- An x-wing fighter flies across the room.

-- A pillow explodes in a cloud of feathers.

-- One of the legs on the bed breaks.

INT. STIFLER'S COTTAGE - OUTSIDE BASEMENT DOOR - NIGHT

The Basement door is closed. We hear from the inside...

STIFLER'S MOM (O.S.)
I had no idea you'd be this good!

FINCH (O.S.)
Neither did I!

INT. STIFLER'S COTTAGE - STIFLER'S BROTHER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jim and Michelle going at it. Again, we HEAR but can't
see them. The room is more trashed than before. And as
we PAN across the disaster area they've created --

JIM (O.S.)
Are you gonna do what I think you're
gonna do?

MICHELLE (O.S.)
Don't you want me to?

JIM (O.S.)
Oh yeah! Put it in your mouth!

MICHELLE (O.S.)
Okay!

We see her...on top of Jim. She clears her throat. And
then we see her raise a children's plastic recorder to
her lips -- and she whistles THE MICHIGAN FIGHT SONG. On
cue, Jim chimes in --

JIM
Hail, hail, to Michigan, the leaders
and best!

EXT. BEACH - NIGHT

Oz could be coming. Heather could be coming. But it's
all so darn passionate that the whole thing looks like
one big orgasm anyway.

INT. STIFLER'S COTTAGE - STIFLER'S BROTHER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Jim and Michelle lay on the floor, tangled in sheets and
each others' clothing. Exhausted, gasping.

And then we see the closet door is open, just a crack.
It swings open. Standing there is Stifler's Little
Brother. Jaw hanging.

STIFLER'S BROTHER
That was awesome!

Jim and Michelle are stunned.

INT. STIFLER'S COTTAGE - BASEMENT - NIGHT

Finch and Stifler's Mom are just off-camera. We can't
see it, but we can tell Finch's status from his ORGASMIC
MOANING.

What we do see is the kitchen door handle rattling. The
chair falling out of place. And the door opening as
Stifler walks in. He stops, horrified.

I think it's fine to say "Name moans...groans....cries out in ecstacy...." etc. The general rule not to "direct" the actor doesn't mean you never describe what the character is doing -- because then how else could you tell the story? It just means, don't describe every little twitch and furrowed brow...leave something for the actor to come up with.

But for important stuff, of course, describe what you want your character to do.

Having said that, I'd also say that 'less is more' for sex scenes. It's like an action scene only with more emotion ;-) Leave something to the reader's [director's, actor's] imagination. Only choreograph what is necessary, not a play by play.

Check out some sex scenes in movies you like and see how they're written. TERMINATOR doesn't go into every writhing gasping detail but conveys the essence of a pivotal moment:

A SEQUENCE OF CUTS. DETAILS. IMPRESSIONS.

Sarah, a very close angle, as she grimaces in divine agony.
Reese, his face rapt.
His hand, clutching the pillow as if to kill it.
It is explosive, torrential. A confluence of fate and will.
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Of course the tone should fit with your story -- if they couple coupling isn't going to produce the savior of mankind then maybe lighten up a little...;-)

E.g., in THE WEDDING CRASHERS the guys aren't trying to save the world from a Terminator, they just want to get laid. And that's pretty much how their sex scenes are described [in the opening sequence which shows how the guys operate]:

INT. VARIOUS BEDROOMS

We intercut between DIFFERENT WOMEN with John and Jeremy jumping into bed. "Shout" still plays.

INT. VARIOUS DANCE FLOORS, RECEPTIONS, BEDROOMS
<.........>
When we hear the final "Shout!" the music stops and we cut to John and Jeremy each rolling off their respective women. Jeremy signs contentedly. John stares off pensively: something's missing.

--------------------------------
Different movie, different sex.

I saw James McAvoy interviewed on Parkinson, and he made a great point, though he was talking more about directing, but it certainly applies to the writing.
Especially with sex scenes, give them details. Because if they're not told what to do, when the guy starts squeezing the woman's breast - it was HIS choice, you know? But if he's been told to do it, then it's not quite as weird.
Make sense?
Just my 2 cents worth. Or should I say 5 cents.

From my work with directors, they hate being told how to stage things like that. They figure that is their expertise. So I suggest you put as little into it as you can without feeling like you NEED to put more in. Of course, I've met writers who say "Bugger them!" and write full direction in the piece. It certainly makes it more restrictive and focused when reading (which is both good and bad).

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Screnzy '08: Caffeine - Stage play about Community and Privacy

I think the general rule of thumb is that you write what cannot be gathered from the dialogue. If there is a specific thing the characters should do (she constantly plays with her hair while they're "doin' it;" when he climaxes he grabs the headboard and screams, "I'm king of the world!") then point that out, but otherwise leave it to the actors/director. They should be able to know, from the story and dialogue, how that person would behave during sex. (As an actor, my personal opinion is that phrases like "divine agony" are literature, not stage direction. "Pleasure" is a stage direction. But that's just me...)

Now, this being a sex scene, the "rules" might be different, as someone else pointed out, because that way when the guy grabs the girl's breast it's not his idea, it's the stage direction. But, then again, good actors know and understand that it's not the guy grabbing the girl's breast, it's the character grabbing the other character's breast.

Write as much as you feel is necessary for them to shoot the scene you see in your head (but stay away from flowery language).

:)

Criss, la Reina
www.crisswrites.com
www.xanga.com/reinacristina