FADE IN:

INT. LYON’S DEN - NIGHT
A split level mountain hideaway. Dark and empty. Sheets cover the furniture. The main door opens with a huge CREAK. A cranky caretaker -- MRS. SERFF, decidedly bundled against harsh winter weather -- enters. DANIEL BETTANCOURT -- almost 30, bookishly attractive -- scrambles after her, shivering. He carries a suitcase, laptop computer and bag of groceries.

MRS. SERFF
(New England)
Here we go, Mr. Bettancourt. The Lyons Den -- .

DANIEL
Finally!

MRS. SERFF
-- Though why you’d want to come here is beyond me. All the skiin’s to the east -- .

DANIEL
I -- I don’t ski.

MRS. SERFF
Ya don’t say? Lemme build up a fire. That’ll cozy the place.

She shreds a magazine as Daniel dumps his things on a couch. Tries to keep his teeth from chattering. ACE SHOSTAKOVICH -- “James Bondish” in the perfect tux; no overcoat -- barges in.

ACE
Dream about it. This dump’s got more drafts than a big-budget screenplay. Hey, I like that line; write it down.

DANIEL
Already -- used it.

ACE
When?

DANIEL
“The Tangerine Forty-two D-Cup Madame.”

ACE
I’m repeating myself?

MRS. SERFF
What’s that you say?

DANIEL
Nothing. Electric on?

He tries a light switch. Nothing. Pulls out a cell phone and starts to dial but -- .

ACE
No signal. Of course.

DANIEL
Aw, man -- Tad was supposed to have the electric on by the time I got here.

MRS. SERFF
This time of night? In that snow? Don’t be expectin’ it.

The fire starts. Mrs. Serff tosses logs on it. Daniel warms himself.

ACE
Don’t expect a damn thing from that -- .

DANIEL
Ace! That -- does feel good. Okay -- water heater’s in the kitchen. And Tad said it’s electric.

MRS. SERFF
And it’ll need to fill up. Homer keeps it empty in the winter.

Daniel sees a rotary-style phone on an end table and picks it up. He HEARS a dial tone.

DANIEL
Would you start it filling, Mrs. Serff? I’m calling Tad.

MRS. SERFF
But if there’s no heat, it’ll freeze over.

DANIEL
We’ll have power, or we’ll leave.

He dials. She shrugs and heads into the kitchen.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CONTROL BOOTH - NIGHT
Harried. A cell phone RINGS. TAD -- who looks exactly like Ace -- grabs it. He pounds on the work table.

TAD
No, make it longer, not shorter!
(into phone)
Yeah?

DANIEL
It’s Daniel. I’m here.

TAD
Took you long enough.

DANIEL
It’s snowing. The electric’s still off.

TAD
Shit. Sandy, call Con-Ed, again!
(into phone)
How bad’s the snow?

DANIEL
Couple feet, but Mrs. Serff has a four-wheel drive.

ACE
That’s putting it mildly.

TAD
Can you get back down?

DANIEL
She says it’ll stop in the morning. Just in case, there’s a guy here -- Pat Rice -- he’s got a snow cat.

TAD
Okay, I don’t care what it takes, Danny -- you gotta be back here by noon, Monday.

DANIEL
I will be, Tad. Promise.

TAD
Perfect. I really do appreciate you doing this, Danny. Those scripts were such crap -- .

ACE
“And whose fault is that?”

DANIEL
I’ll do what I can, Tad.

Ace rolls his eyes and huffs.

TAD
Just get ‘em good enough for the network to want to piss on. Then I promise you, buddy -- when I get the green on this project, it’s a week in Fiji, just you and me.

ACE
“See about gettin’ back together.”

TAD
Maybe we can -- y’know, work things out. I’ve been a real shit, Danny, and I shouldn’t have done that -- not to the best "writer" I know.

He chuckles. Daniel nods.

DANIEL
Thanks. Let’s -- see how it goes.

ACE
It goes how Tad wants it to.

BAM! The lights come on! Daniel jumps.

ACE (cont’d)
See?

DANIEL
Tad -- electric’s up.

TAD
Sandy, never mind!

DANIEL
I better get started. Oh, I’m calling on your land line; there’s no signal up here.

TAD
Shit, I don’t think I have that number.

Daniel sees a number typed up on the phone’s rotary dial.

DANIEL
It’s “J-K-five-two-one-nine-two.”

TAD
“J-K?”

DANIEL
It’s like my grandmother’s phone. They used to use names for prefixes before numbers.

TAD
Got it. Shit, Danny, I’m beginning to suspect you’re priceless.

ACE
Naw, he can be had for the promise of a kiss.

DANIEL
-- Later, Tad.

He hangs up. Doesn’t move.

ACE
Dan-O, there is something wrong about this. It would’ve been so much easier to stay in town -- .

DANIEL
Ace -- we don’t have time for paranoia, not if I’m going to get this done. Those writers made such a hash of everything.

ACE
No shit. I wound up sounding like Mickey Spillane on acid. Hey -- .

Daniel nods and writes it down.

DANIEL
Thing is, I said I’d do it -- so I have to do it.

MRS. SERFF (V.O.)
Who you talkin’ to?

Daniel jumps. Mrs. Serff enters and yanks dust sheets off the furniture.

MRS. SERFF (cont’d)
Oh, stop -- you know I’m here. Heater’s fillin’ and set to go. Should have hot water in just over an hour. You’re lucky the water pump‘s workin’ and the pipes ain’t froze.

DANIEL
(checks his watch)
I won’t get started till midnight.

MRS. SERFF
That’s what you get for comin’ so late. Driving in that storm. Some people are just plain nine kinds of fool.

ACE
Oh, Dan-O -- .

Daniel quickly writes her comment down.

DANIEL
Right. How ‘bout some coffee?

Mrs. Serff tosses the sheets in a closet. Finds a pint of brandy on the top shelf.

MRS. SERFF
How ‘bout this, instead?

She takes a sip and smiles.

DANIEL
What’s that doing there? The bar’s across -- .

MRS. SERFF
Want some?

DANIEL
Mrs. Serff, I’d kiss you for a sip of brandy.

MRS. SERFF
Don’t let my Homer hear you say that! He’ll beat you to a pulp. And don’t you think that just ‘cause he’s eighty an’ got a wooden leg, he can’t. Cups’re in the kitchen. First cupboard on the left.

Daniel heads into it. Ace follows.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Daniel enters and finds the cups. Ace tails him.

ACE
Don’t let Carmen see that. She’s got a thing for Brandy Alexanders.

Daniel runs water into a kettle and sets it to heating.

DANIEL
That was just in “The Dr. Pepper Tryst and Tristan.” She turned on them in “High-heeled Moccasins.”

ACE
Oh, yeah. Those were damn good books, Dan-O. And “...Tristan” made a damn good movie -- .

DANIEL
It did turn out nice.

ACE
-- Even with Tad’s involvement. If he’d just let you write these -- .

DANIEL
Let’s not go there.

ACE
So now he’s promising you his ass if you’ll just save it.

DANIEL
Ace -- !

He turns to find A MAN GLARING AT HIM THROUGH THE WINDOW! Daniel yelps then rushes to the main room!

EXT. LYON’S DEN - NIGHT
Daniel bolts outside to find -- nothing. Not even footprints in the snow. Shaken, he returns to the cabin. The snow is still falling.

INT. MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Mrs. Serff is by the door. Daniel enters. Ace paces him.

MRS. SERFF
What’s wrong?

ACE
Great -- now we’re seeing things.

DANIEL
I -- I thought I saw somebody.

MRS. SERFF
Oh, that’s just the hermit. When Homer’s off, he follows me ‘round.

DANIEL
Like a bodyguard?

MRS. SERFF
More like a lost dog. He’s no trouble. Bring the coffee.

She leads him into the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Mrs. Serff grabs mugs from a cupboard, rinses them out. Daniel brings in the jar of instant coffee, Ace behind him.

ACE
I think it’s really a sign, Dan-O! Either go home -- or -- or add it to the first episode!

DANIEL
They take place in LA.

MRS. SERFF
What does?

DANIEL
The scripts I’m rewriting.

MRS. SERFF
“Scripts?” You mean you’re a writer?

DANIEL
There are some who’d argue the point.

ACE
Assholes, most of ‘em.

MRS. SERFF
So you come up here to write?! At this time of night?!

DANIEL
We didn’t know it was snowing. Now it’s too late.

She dumps two spoon-loads of coffee in each mug. Ace cringes.

ACE
What’s she makin’? Espresso?

MRS. SERFF
Why’s that?

DANIEL
“Why -- ?” Oh, I need to rewrite eight forty-five page scripts by Monday morning -- for a cable series, based on my books.

MRS. SERFF
Books? So really are a writer?

DANIEL
Ever hear of “Ace Shostakovich, Private Dick?”

MRS. SERFF
Can’t say as I have.

The water boils. She pours it into the cups then adds dollops of brandy.

DANIEL
How about a book called “The Dirty Baker’s Dozen”?

MRS. SERFF
Can’t say as I have.

ACE
Where’s she been -- Siberia?

DANIEL
Well, I wrote those two and four others, all of them best-sellers.

MRS. SERFF
That a fact?

DANIEL
They follow the adventures of Ace and his sexy secretary, Carmen O’Brien who solve mysteries and find ways to add to the Karma Sutra.

MRS. SERFF
Sex. Figures. Nothin’ sells like sex.

DANIEL
And violence. Anyway, Tad was approached by a network -- .

MRS. SERFF
That’s Mr. Bentley? Tad? Here.

She hands him a cup, tries her own and adds more brandy.

DANIEL
Yeah. We’re -- uh, old friends.

MRS. SERFF
That all you are?

Daniel hesitates. Mrs. Serff nods.

MRS. SERFF (cont’d)
Figures. Let’s go by the fire.

INT. MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Mrs. Serff leads Daniel back to the fire. Ace saunters after them.

DANIEL
Anyway, Tad had two of my books adapted into an eight part series for cable, but he wasn’t happy with how they turned out, so I’m redoing them for a meeting on Monday.

MRS. SERFF
This Monday? Day after tomorrow?

Daniel nods.

MRS. SERFF (cont’d)
And you come up here? Whose fool idea was that?

DANIEL AND ACE
Tad’s.

DANIEL
We didn’t know it was snowing.

MRS. SERFF
Well it’s a damn fool thing to do.

DANIEL
He thought the solitude would help me work faster.

MRS. SERFF
Well that you’ll get an’ plenty of it. Nobody ‘round these parts for miles.

ACE
Except for -- .

DANIEL
-- That hermit.

MRS. SERFF
Oh, he’ll follow me back down the mountain. Won’t be ‘round. Fact, I’d best get goin’, myself. An’ I’ll be back -- eight-am, Monday mornin’, like you asked. You got my number ‘case you need something.

She finishes her coffee and heads for the door.

DANIEL
Yes, you gave it to me before we came up. One thing -- are there any extra keys to this place? Tad didn’t have one.

MRS. SERFF
Just mine, and I got it.

DANIEL
Could I have it?

MRS. SERFF
Why?

DANIEL
Oh -- just in case I need it.

She huffs, but hands the key over.