INT. MAKESHIFT STUDIO, DAY
Against a backdrop of a curtain, CAROL WODEN is speaking. Her appearance is presented as an online video blog, with digital compression artifacts including slight pixellation and sound warbling.
CAROL
Welcome to this week's edition of Weird East Texas Online; I'm Carol Woden. Our editor John is continuing his "Cosmos Noir" theme, paying tribute to the late Carl Sagan, as the Baloney Detective Agency debunks various alien conspiracy myths.
A SOUND CLIP voice plays, imitating Humphrey Bogart.
SOUND CLIP
In all the billions of gin joints in all the billions of towns, in all the billions of worlds, she had to walk into mine.
CAROL
In this week's installment, we explain why the Pleiades in all likelihood can't host extraterrestrial super-intelligence until they're at least old enough to have planets, and we'll then look into whether or not Zeta 2 Reticularis can do any better. Meanwhile, Phil, our cryptozoologist, is on the trail for the Beast of Nacogdoches, an elusive giant canine. And I pursue the question of why faeries, magic, and God all seem adamant about our believing in them when none of them seem willing to give us unequivocal proof of their existence. All this and more in the online edition of Weird East Texas.