INT. PAUL & MARNIE'S apartment, BEDROOM

MARNIE is sitting on the bed with a MACBOOK laptop. She looks up as Paul enters.

MARNIE
What's wrong?

PAUL
Am I going bald?

Marnie laughs.

PAUL
Don't laugh. I'm serious. Am I losing my hair?

He begins to turn around to show her.

MARNIE
(before he is turned)
Well, a little.

PAUL
You didn't even look! You mean you already knew this?

MARNIE
Well, I have seen your head before.

PAUL
I haven't! Why didn't you tell me?

MARNIE
It's really not that bad.

PAUL
Not that bad? So it's obvious?
(flopping face down onto the bed)
Am I the only one who didn't know that I'm going bald?

MARNIE
Come on, you're not going bald.

PAUL
I am. I'm twenty-six years old, and I'm going to be completely bald by the time I'm thirty.

Marnie rubs the top of his head affectionately.

PAUL
Don't, you'll rub it all off.

Marnie takes an IPHONE from the bedside table and snaps a photo of the top of Paul's head.

PAUL
What, are you going to put a picture on your blog?

MARNIE
No, I'm showing you it's not that bad.
(displaying the photo on the iPhone)
See?

PAUL
Oh, god, it's awful. Don't you dare put that on the web.

MARNIE
I wouldn't do that. But you need to relax.
(She kisses him.)
The more you stress about it, the faster it'll fall out.

PAUL
Great.

MARNIE
I'm kidding. If that were true, you wouldn't have any hair.

PAUL
(rolling over)
And my back is killing me, too. You may as well just stick me in the nursing home now.

MARNIE
I'll come visit you every day. As long as you promise not to wear a combover.

She kisses him again, and they kiss longer.

MARNIE
Anyway, don't you know what baldness is a sign of?

PAUL
Decrepitude?

MARNIE
No. Virility. So embrace it.

More passionate kissing.