Okay, so long story short, my main character hatches a plan to kill her sexually abusive father. Her accomplices are her older half-brother and her employer (eccentric and rich mid-twenties comic book store owner). It's supposed to be a dark comedy.

I personally think the story has its merits, but I just don't know to make murder funny.

I'd rent as many dark comedies as you could handle and see if that sparks anything. It might help you to figure out how dark you want to go, too. A few movies off the top of my head:

Pulp Fiction
Fargo
American Beauty
The Squid and The Whale (this doesn't deal with murder, but it does deal with teen angst in a rather dark/funny way.)

I second watching lots of dark comedies.

Just how eccentric is her half brother? I bet if you play your cards right and don't overdo it you could get a few laughs out of him. Maybe watch Dr. Strangelove to get an idea how far you can push it without over doing it.

I actually wasn't considering going super, super dark. Here's an (rough) example of when they're discussing murder plans.

MC: Woodchipper?

Brother: Too Fargo.

Comic Book Guy: Vats of acid?

Brother: Too Dahmer.

MC: What I'm looking for is a way that isn't going to paint me Miss Psycho USA 2008.

Comic Book Guy: You're discussing ways to kill your father and get rid of the body. I'm pretty sure that puts you in the running.

Brother: If not the lead.

MC: Well then, I better make room for my tiara.

I'll take a look at those movies you all suggested as well.

EDIT: As for the brother, he really isn't eccentric, it's the comic store owner you have to watch for. He has a son and I haven't decided on a name just yet but it would be in the vein of Peter Parker (Last Name), Clark Kent (Last Name), Bruce Wayne (Last Name), or Luke Skywalker (Last Name).
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Dearly Beloved Script Frenzy! 2007 Winner!

That's dark comedy alright :D

You could continue along those lines, maybe have them tell jokes during the murder scene. Or make the murder scene funny by using physical humor or irony.

I think you can do it. :) Looking at other dark comedies is a good idea, and I think your dialog example above is funny (and sharp - well done!).

To add a few more examples:
Raising Arizona (made kidnapping funny)
Weekend at Bernies
Novocaine
Goodfellas even had some brilliant dark comedy in it ("here's an arm. here's a leg! here's a wing! who wants the wing?" im probably botching this quote, but you get the idea)

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Jason
Municipal liaison for Southern California
scriptfrenzy@tactorfiction.com

Hehe. That was funny, I think you're off to a good start.

Some other suggestions of movies to watch. You might want to check out Chumscrubber. It's pretty incredible.

And maybe something like Big Nothing (a lot of people didn't like that, but if your ready for something unrealistic, you're good). Or maybe a Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels sort of flick. And if you want a lighter mood, try I Love You to Death.

Oh, and I love the idea of the comic book owner naming his kid one of those names. Personally I like Bruce Wayne. ... but, then again, I have checks with Batman on them...

Okay, to start off, there's nothing wrong with having checks with Batman on them. If it wasn't for the fact that I needed something "classy" for my own checks, I probably would have geeked them out like woah.

Okay, so I was doing research last night at CrimeLibrary.com and quite frankly, all the murders were unsuitable for what I want.

Would you, as a viewer, feel cheated if, in fact, no murder took place at all? That the father just kicked the bucket of natural causes before a murder can take place?

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Dearly Beloved Script Frenzy! 2007 Winner!

Not at all, in fact I can see that is being quite funny. They go through all the machinations of planning the perfect murder, and when they arrive the target has already croaked. The reactions of your main characters could be priceless.

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Jason
Municipal liaison for Southern California
scriptfrenzy@tactorfiction.com

I think that would be even more satisfying in the hilarity department. And I think the audience would be relieved that the characters didn't actually have to go through with it.

And I think the audience would be relieved that the characters didn't actually have to go through with it.

Oh thank god. I was actually thinking the same thing. I actually didn't want my characters to get caught and I've watched enough CSI/taken a high school forensics course to know that the perfect crime is hard, someone is bound to slip up sometime....and to be honest, my characters aren't that smart.
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Dearly Beloved Script Frenzy! 2007 Winner!