I didn't have time for a detailed read-through, but my immediate impression is, this could work very well as a radio script. It seems very dialogue-driven already and would just need some tweaking to fit in the more essential exposition you give in the prose, whether with a narrative or working it into the existing dialogue. However, it could also work as a movie.
The main question apart from your expertise in working with the respective media, I think, is whether you're content to tell your story through sound alone, or whether you feel the visual element is important. So far your story seems character-driven, so that actually seeing the story's action isn't all that necessary, but I can't speak for the upcoming plot.
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