I suggest, avoid pop culture references like the plague. Or if you use them do so very, very sparingly, and in such a context that the viewer would understand the meaning of the reference, even if he did not know what was being referred to. When I say sparingly, I mean one or two per play.
Avoid them as you would avoid jargon, or references to very obscure historical events, or as you would avoid very scholarly terms in writing a play, a story, or a novel.
Part of Shakespeare's genius, which is just common sense really, is that he knows how and when to use allusions in his dramas. When he makes references, or uses classical metaphors or similes, or makes reference to history, he cleverly words it so that the dramatic event makes the allusion crystal clear. This is why supposedly "uneducated" people can respond so readily to Shakespeare. The references, metaphors, contemporary references are not obstacles to understanding, while at the same time they boost the response of people who know and understand them. The meaning of the reference is subtly restated, or underlined by actions of the characters.
But when it comes right down to it, avoid the cultural references like the plague, may be the best advice, unless you have one character in the play who needs the reference to have it explained, and who can serve as a surrogate for the audience. Then the character has a duty to explain the reference.
Otherwise, think about Samuel Becket, whose success partially lies in his ability to strip away everything which is not essential, so that his drama becomes genuinely timeless (whatever you may think of his "message," supposing there is one). You will see the same thing in Chekhov to a lesser extent. And in Tennessee Williams, and in O'Neil. Also in Sartre, whose dramas are sadly neglected in the U.S.
Sometimes characters just have to ask questions, even if they do not get a very good answer.
Radio Announcer: But who is Zaphod Beeblebrox?
German Psychiatrist: He's just 'zis guy, you know.
[I am quoting from the original radio drama version of the Hitchhiker's
Guide, not from the film, or from the novelization, which is poor in comparison to the original drama.]
Me: I hope that makes my point of view clear to you. I am referring to the second painting done by Picasso during his so called Blue Period. Got it?
Other character: No, I don't understand the reference.
(Enter a myriad of characters who engage in a tremendous conflict, so that the reference proves irrelevant anyway, and all struggles are resolved by force, or by reference to an allusion which everyone understands, like the tune of the Star Spangled Banner).
That's one way to deal with the problem.
OR:
Wernv: Have you heard about Paris Hilton's latest escapade.
Ovalcakes: Yes. One hundred and forty times.
(Ovalcakes kills Wernv with a shiv, has a heart attack, and becomes a patient in a hospital in New England, where she is treated by the famous diagnostician, known as "House," seen on cable and satellite channels on the USA network, on Friday Nights. One of the psyschologists from Law and Order comes in, and explains the psychosis as due to an overexposure to Pop Culture. Two of the characters from South Park concur, and Allie McBeal mourns her demise, so many years ago, something incomprehensible, after such a successful run. Only Seinfeld can explain it, in his winning and humorous way. Everyone asks, "What ever happened to the Show, 'Father Knows Best'? It isn't even shown in reruns on Nickolodeon or TV Land! And why didn't Kramer ever get his own show? )
Enter Hank Kimball, from the sitcom, Green Acres, which is shown on TV Land, though only once a week.
Hank: I have the answer, well, its not really an answer. It is an answer, in a way, sort of. (pause) What was the question?
Exeunt
The end.
P.S.
I have no idea who the Dursleys are, even though I saw both Edward Scissorhands and the Stepford Housewives. (Only once, and it was a while back).
If you made a reference to Semele, the Theban concubine of Zeus, and mother to the God Dionysus, I would feel more comfortable, I must admit.
Or maybe you could allude to the fact that we still don't know whether Gaius Balter is a Cylon or not. Perhaps the remaining Cylon is Kara Thrace (alias Starbuck), or even Admiral Adama himself!
All will be revealed, I swear by Artemis!
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