Okay, I don't know if anyone even wants to do this thread, but let's give it a shot.

This whole thread is giong to kind of be like teh dares thread, but only for quotes/lines. If you overheard it, that's great. Or it could be a quote from a book/movie you read that you thought was funny (please name title of the book/movie if possible), or it could be a line that you wanted in your Screnzy/NaNovel that just didn't cut it when (if) you edited it. Whatever it is here's the place to post it!

P.S. If you want to hear back from someone who used the quote, please add 'PPM' (Please private message) to the end of your post. If you steal a quote form a PPM'd opst, please respond.

I hope people have fun with this!

Please note that if the quote is from copyrighted material, and if you want to produce your script professionally, that line might need to be cut.

Okay, here's my quote:

Overheard in a resteraunt:
"Don't bother calling the cops- we escaped"

Oooh! Overheard a great one:

"Do you like rubbing my butt?"

Disturbing, yes.

~~~

Here's one (yes, I really heard people talking about this):
"The worst was the time someone thought it was a spaceship with lasers coming out of it."
"Wow. I just thought it was a bow."

"I can't breathe. Is that a problem?"
"Why yes! Do you need CPR?"
"No, I'm going to be all right. Just, maybe, dead. But come on, CPR is just icky. Especially coming from you."
"Well that makes me feel loved and respected."

I just made this up, modeled after a conversation my friend and I had in P.E. the other day.

"We'll get a bulletproof bubble butt! I'm not sure if or how it will work, but we will make it happen!"

A "Is that a mouse?"
B "No."
A "It looks like a mouse."
B "It is a mouse."
A "But you said it wasn't a mouse."
B "It isn't."

Icon by a_minor_third at LiveJournal

I keep a website. You're welcome to them, but PPM if you use any of them. I'd be interested to see what you do with them.

I have a lot of these!

"There will be no laundry racism in this house!"

"Give me the world before I go stupid, please."

"The water's wet today, folks."

"Oh, because I OFTEN have lime marmalade..."

"Do you want me, or Angry Man?"

"Save me from the drunk zombie!"

A: Have they achieved 'boatload of idiots' status yet?
B: Nah, they're being too nice.

PPM!

Oops, double post

WrittenWord, the "twenty four" quote from your site, (near the top), which is listed as someone's email signiature, comes from the song 24 by Switchfoot. Just so ya know.

Corporate jargon: "expected to exceed expectations" (spoken with no sense of irony)

1: I don't want to know what you meant by that.
2: //I// don't want to know what I meant by that!
3: Do you know what you meant by that?
2: ... I think so...

1: -runs into bush on side of sidewalk-
3: Oy vey... I SPEAK YIDDISH!
2: Yeah, well, [1] speaks bush. And then they maul her.

Overheard a young man on the phone, waiting for a bus say, "So if I go to Jane and Finch at 6 am, I'll see the interesting sight of all the immigrant workers? It's not there, but that's where they all get off?"

I'm adopting the expectations one, and it actually has solved a plot problem!

Leaving:

"There's another person with a dog. Or possibly an umbrella."

"Losing your virginity isn't a gradual process. One day you are, and then the next day you're not. It's not like becoming a Communist."

"You like him, don't you?"
"I just want goldfish!

"Please remove my socks from the microwave."

WrittenWord, I'm taking the naked bus driver one.

Okay, just realized how freakish that sounded. He probably won't be naked, but most likely wearing a speedo. *shivers at the thought of a nude beach* NO. I WILL NOT FOLLOW THAT THOUGHT!!!!!!!

Leaving: (this is in regard to the Italy trip, which I don't get to go on, but my friend (B) does)

A: I'm hiding in your suitcase.
B: Uh. . .
Me: No you're not! I've already claimed her suitcase. You can have the carry-on.
A: Oh. Okay.
B: Okay, so what's the count now?
Me: 3 people in your suitcase, 2 in your carry-on. I don't think you can fit any more, unless you get a bigger suitcase.
B: Yeah. Maybe you could just squish together. Oh wait. . . I did not mean that the way it sounded. I just meant that you could press close together, and make room for another person to squish in. . .
A: Stop. Just stop.
Me: Just quite while you're behind.
B: *facepalm*

My friend Jashan (who is a girl) said this:
"Ooh! Maybe I can grow a Penis!"

I'll look at your site of quotes, WrittenWord.

All said by me in the last 24 hours:

"No, I'd really rather date a paper clip."

"OMG OMG OMG Guess what?" *pause* "You just lost the game!" (only to be used by people who know about the game)

"We have just proven that we still need parental supervision on a mini golf course."

*runs out screaming* "I have $3.38! I'm rich! I can buy cookies now!"

Me:"You're the worst driver in the world!"
Friend Driving: "Why?"
Me: "You didn't hit anything!"

All of these are up for grabs... just message me and tell me you're using them :)

"Here, take it."
"No thanks."
"Take it."
"No."
"Okay."
"What?"
"Glad you agreed. Here, take it!"

"NOOOOO! Gimme my papercut back!"

"Rabid penguin. Back away. Slowly."

PPM me if you're using them.

Icon by a_minor_third at LiveJournal

"Do you want me, or Angry Man?"

Taking and editing. This one will work so well in my movie (Comedy superhero movies are fun)

Leaving:

"I have no reason to listen to you."

"I find you weird and unexplainable."

"Okay! Can we stop with the evil twins already? Every time you guys get one I'm up to my ass in paperwork."

"Stop looking at me."
"I'm wasn't looking at you"
"You're looking at me now"
"Because you're talking to me"

"Screw Chuck Norris! I'll take (Insert character name here)

Taking:

"You like him, don't you?"
"I just want goldfish!"

"I find you weird and unexplainable."

"Stop looking at me."
"I'm wasn't looking at you"
"You're looking at me now"
"Because you're talking to me"

Also... I lost the game. ><

Leaving:

A: "Can you all take turns at punching me?"
B: "Why?"
A: "I need to prove that I was jumped by ten Mexicans."
(Actual request)

"There is a time and place for spankings and abuse."

A: "You're funny!"
B: "Thanks!" *Grin* "I try."
A: "I don't try. That's why I'm not funny."

~~~

These are great! I'm glad to see the adoptables forums picking up. I was beginning to worry. I practically lived on these forums last November...

Leaving:
(these are all from real conversations I've had)

"So discussing cooking with babies is acceptable at home, but not at a restaurant?"
"Exactly."

"Isn't if funny how you're scared of spiders and I'm not?"
"Not really."
"See, because I think it's hilarious."

"Stupid rap songs are ALWAYS more funny when sung by little children who don't know what 'ho' means."
"You disgust me."
"So does 50 Cent. That's why it's funny."

"It'll be like the Iron Chef of illegal downloading!"

"So... do you remember that time when we fit seven people into your closet?"
"And that makes the conversation LESS awkward?"

"It's legal in Sweden!"
"Really?"
"No, I just made that up so you'd say yes. But I do think that it's legal in South Africa."
"You're so full of crap."
"Yeah."

"I guess some people just have really boring movies."
"Or maybe they're just not the main character."
"...But I thought that everyone was the main character in their own movie. Isn't that the point of the metaphor?"
"Well maybe they used to be the main character, but they were so boring that we'd rather follow the B-Story, i.e. you."
"I'm glad you find me interesting."
"You're my dad. Crazy runs in the family. How could you NOT be interesting?"
"I think that was a complement."
"I think it was too."

Taking:

"I find you weird and unexplainable."

Leaving:

"C1: But, if you cut your nose off, you wouldn't be able to taste either.
C2: You don't need to taste as long as you can see."

"No, not true love. True love's not creepy."

Rainwolf, I'm taking the Chuck Norris one. It will be filled by. . . GIBBS!!! (from NCIS) He's amazing, and I still maintain that he could kick Chuck Norris's butt.

Here are a few of the choicer things I have overheard at school (mostly in Chemistry. Go figure.)

"This (insert action of your choice) is shallow and pedantic."
~
A: "This is not group work!"
B: "But it takes a village to raise a child!"
~
"I'll go all GTA on anyone! Except for someone with a gun. Or any kind of weapon. I'll take on a lawyer."
~
"Have you ever played with sea monkeys?"
~
"Well, it is 6 times bigger, so what if I drank 6 times as much formaldehyde?"
~
"Aw, that's mean. No one wants a midget."

Taking:
"No, I'd really rather date a paper clip."

Leaving:

"Why do you want to go out with THAT loser? Why don't you go out with THIS one?"

"Sometimes I highly doubt my sanity."

"All you can do is make me more frustrated."

---Emily

Taking:
"Please remove my socks from the microwave."
"I have no reason to listen to you."
"I find you weird and unexplainable."
"Sometimes I highly doubt my sanity."
"All you can do is make me more frustrated."

And Leaving:
"You're Russian, You're supposed to like Vodka"
"I'm sorry guys I just like bad haircuts. especially when they dye it randomly so they look like a diseased animal" (my room mate actually said this)
"Why are you doing that? I just don't understand."
"Im off to see the wizard, and by wizard I mean Facebook."
"...Yes. That did just happen"

PPM if you use them, Id like to see where they end up!

"They won't listen to arsonists. Not even environmentally conscious arsonists."
"Nobody is going to suspect and old lady of being an arsonist!"

"Oh, whoa, you're wearing a color!"
"I'm wearing several, actually."

"Life sucks. Really hard. Like a vacuum. Like a black hole."
"...But a black hole would suck up //life.//"
"Go black hole!"

"You're not listening again."
"Oh, bite me."
"...Listen, I am telling you this as a friend, if you ever walk into a hotel full of vampires, do NOT say that."

"I'm not very self-aware, but I'm self-aware enough to know that I'm not very self-aware."
"Well, you're obviously not very self-aware, because you sound like an idiot!"

^^ I promise that none of the above are copyrighted. (That I know of, anyway. They're just things I've overheard around school.)

I have a couple. These are all snippets of real conversation. Oh, the joys of sitting in the passenger seat when everyone else is sitting behind you.

"Stop trying to pull my pants off!"

"Uh, that's my leg you just grabbed."

"Look, this is me trying to go poo!" (farts)
"Oh, ewww!"

Feel free to use some of the ones I've been caught saying at work.

A: I really don't like people
B: Really? But you sound so nice when you say hello.
A: My hello really means 'get the hell out of here' (pause) please.

"If stupidity could kill, I don't think I'd have a job anymore"

A: (super sweet voice) You just have a fantabulous night now!
B: What the f*ck is your problem?
A: None, now that you're leaving.

A: I could kill you.
B: But you won't.
A: How do you know I won't.
B: Because your rent would go up.
A: Oh, right.

I've got more along those lines if you want them. I'm more than happy to share myself.