Quick synopsis-

Essentially Nina is in love with a boy (John)from her childhood. She has a one night stand with a man she meets at a bar- later finds out it was him.

She decides she wants to try and find him, but this proves difficult. In the meantime, she starts a casual, uh, relationship with a co-worker. This guy proves to be a tremendous help to her in her search for John.

I'm lacking events that tip the plot forward.

So, I thought- well gee, she's not a very worldly girl, coming from a sheltered, conservative background. She sort of just busted out of all that with the one night stand. She wouldn't have been on birth control per se...

And if she did get pregnant, she could make the mistake of thinking it was the co-workers baby. Being young and having no pregnancy experience- she could mis-read the signs.

This could provide a whole "dark night of the soul" for Nina. How could she continue to find John if she was having Mikes baby? She'd feel she really blew it.

But then..through ultrasound, she could find out that she's not just pregnant...she's 4 months pregnant (I have three kids and many mom friends...stranger things have happened). Meaning it couldn't have been Mikes...it had to have been John.

In the end, she re-unites with John. This is the part I'm thinking could be ruined by the whole baby thing.

It would probably be more romantic if she wasn't having his baby because the longing and the searching would be more pure.

I just wonder if, in real life, John would wonder if she was only wanting him to father the child or something?

I do not want to sully this scene! It's why I'm writing this!

Do you think the baby thing cheapens the story? Without it, she just finds John before tries to commit suicide (long story) and THATS the conflict and the climax.

What to do....what to do...

Carolyn- busy typing with one hand, drawing with the other- and best case scenario, there's a microphone to be singing into...

Just my opinion of course and feel free to ignore, but I'd lean more towards just thinking she's pregnant than being so esp. with the suicidal angle, part of the inexperienced naivete, feeling ill, holding off on the actual test to keep it from being too real, and that being another motivation to finding him, but it ends up not being true, and the not being true along with not finding him would push her over the edge- no reason to find him now, as it were. Of course, if you're on the 4+ month timeline it wouldn't hold up but maybe along a more condensed 6-8 weeks or so. It does seem better to reunite with him because he wants to, not because he might feel he has to. Maybe some of that makes sense.

I agree-- letting her just think that she might be pregnant will help you build some anticipation and maybe add in a plot twist or two.

As far as the one-night stand being contradictory to her conservative background...you could have her be crying over the first guy and then her co-worker consolers her...then they end up sleeping together, but she regrets it and he doesn't. Or something to that effect. I think it would work if it was a one-time thing out of her despair...because it doesn't seem in her character, if she's conservative to have an ongoing casual sexual relationship.

It's fairly complicated by an intelligent haunting, some extra-sensory abilities on the part of all parties, but I'm not going to get into that .

I think you guys are right. I think the pregnancy thing doesn't work. It was a fleeting idea to try and make my story sharper.

Keep it simple, right? (as simple as this story gets, that is)