Would it be good if like...I made someone die or something? I had originally planned that but my friend was reading part of the very first crappy draft. (It would probably been like 20 mins) and she started bawling...is that good? Does that mean I should keep it that way?

well that depened do you want her to cry... (I'm kidding) crying is great if it's what you want. assuming that she is well ajusted and doesn't cry at anything and everything, then you have some rather sharp writing. the extrems (crying and laughter) and often aimed at but how often do we read a comic that we would call funny but we didn't acually laugh. It's the same idea with trajedy. on the other hand I think it's more important the plot points being set up. consider a peice of writing is like a brigde if it's not amazing looking no one wants to cross it but the most fantastic looking needs to be able to hold it's weight. but that is very tangential yes good job on making her cry. congrates