Writer Profile: Chris_Brampton |
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An Excerpt from My Family and Other Man-Made Disasters
INT. HOUSE DINING ROOM - NIGHT BEN, KATE, BRENDA, WILL, SOPHIE and JAMIE are hovering around the table, Kate holding the dinner in her hands. Each are casting agitated, nervous looks at each other. KATE (V.O.) I half-expected somebody to pull out an axe. KATE Well - you can sit. They all sit, and begin to tuck in, cordially passing each other the food. WILL and SOPHIE seem to be the only remotely optimistic-looking ones seated around the table. KATE (V.O.) Aside from the obliterated vase earlier that day - a point I shall return to later - everything seemed to be passing without incident for concern. Our normally dysfunctional family was - shall we say - acting remotely functional. BEN So how was uni, Will? It can't have been nothing for four years or however long it was. WILL That's what I was coming to. I - BRENDA Probably getting up to no good as usual. Drunk, drugged, doped and dropping out of the doors of the local drunkard-house at obscene hours... KATE Mum, please... BRENDA What? You of all people should know the supposed miracles of university. BEN Brenda... BRENDA Let the boy speak, for the Lord's sake, Ben! KATE (V.O.) There were times when you could have sworn that my mother had walked straight out of a soap. Of course, that only supported her reaction to the next bit. BEN You're the one who's not letting her speak! KATE Ben! BRENDA Combative, eh? Typical. KATE Mum! BEN You've always had a problem with our marriage, right from the start, only because your husband finally saw what a selfish, self-righteous bi- KATE Ben! Children - at - the - table! BRENDA Let's hear him out then. Let's hear the piece of sh- KATE Mum! Children! BRENDA - that got scraped off the bottom of a pile of sh- KATE MOTHER! WILL OK - if it will stop you shouting. I - not exactly sure how to say this but - SOPHIE Tell! Tell! Tell! JAMIE Shush! KATE (V.O.) The atmosphere in that room could be collected into a bottle and used as rat poison. I think - due to his unsurety in telling us - that he had already predicted each of our reactions. WILL I - I'm gay, alright? Silence and shock descends over the entire table. JAMIE'S headphone falls from his ear as he freezes. BRENDA simply rolls her eyes. SOPHIE'S jaw drops. KATE looks confused. BEN looks murderous. BRENDA Now what did I tell you about university? Go off for your little course in biochemistry and come back a bloody fag- KATE MUM! |
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