FADE IN

EXT -- CIRCUS TENT – EVENING

A young child chases a duck around an enclosure for the petting zoo. The duck reaches it's limit and suddenly turns and starts chasing the child who runs screaming. The child leaps over the fence and runs to it's mother. The clown managing the petting zoo runs over and gives a balloon animal to the child. As the child's father is having his shoes shined while seated next to a balloon vendor. A man in a horrendously ugly suit dances past them. As he dances away we see a circus tent. An old man (Roland) with a monkey on his shoulder steps out of the tent see the dancing man and waves at him as he dances past. Roland has a half eaten hot dog in his hand.

ROLAND
Now there is a weirdo.

The monkey nods. Roland offers the hot dog to the monkey, who sniffs it and makes a face.

ROLAND
I don't blame you. You know what
these are made of?
(monkey shakes his head.)
Hooves and poop.

The monkey covers his mouth with his hands.

ROLAND
Exactly.

Roland drops the hot dog into the garbage. We see that garbage is mainly full of hot dog wrappers.

ROLAND
Next time we get hamburgers.

The monkey claps excitedly. Roland looks around. He sees a sign has fallen over. As he stoops to pick it up we hear snoring. He looks over and we see a young man snoozing off to the side. He frowns

ROLAND
“We pay you to sleep?”

The man slumbers on. The monkey shakes a fist at the young man. Roland picks up the sign and places it back in it's spot beside the tent's opening. The sign says “The Hall of Oddities.” Roland looks back at the young man, snoozing away and frowns again.

ROLAND
When I retire I won't miss Prince
Valium over there. I guarantee
you that. Sometimes I think that
boy fell out of the stupid tree
and hit every branch on the way
down

The monkey nods as the old man dusts off the sign.

ROLAND
Showtime!

We see the old man standing outside the circus tent holding a megaphone. The old man looks over at the young man sleeping and rolls his eyes. He nods to the monkey who nods back. The monkey jumps down from his shoulder and dashes over to the garbage. He grabs the half eaten hot dog and throws it at the head of the young man. It hits his in the back of the head covering the back of his head with hot dog toppings. The young man turns and glares at the monkey. We hear the theme to “The good bad and the Ugly” as they stare each other down. The monkey raspberries the young man and runs back to perch on the old man's shoulder. The old man high fives the moneky. The young sleeping man rises and walks to the door to the tent, groggily. He is the ticket taker. He holds a megaphone in one hand and is shouting into it a crowd gathers.

ROLAND
"Alive! Alive! Alive! Yes that is the veritable
truth ladies and gentleman. Each and
every one of the performers that you are
about to see tonight is one hundred and
ten percent genuine. The real McCoy!
Follow me through this doorway to the
best of the best, the finest that the
Carnival has to offer. I guarantee that
you will have never seen anything like it
before But don't take my word for it - step
right in and see for yourself.”

The MC takes their fares as they pass into the tent. As the last person files in, he smiles at the monkey sitting on his shoulder

ROLAND
“Work's every time.”

He high fives his monkey before entering the tent.