BEHIND CLOSED DOORS - 1X06 “Facing the ‘Facers”

TEASER

EXT. FORESTY-TYPE AREA (AMERICA) - DAY

STEFTALEE and ALEX are making their way to the Carpenter’s house.

STEFTALEE
So does this sister of yours not
believe in roads?

ALEX
No, she believes in roads.

STEFTALEE
Then why are we walking?

ALEX
Because you made that crack about
my car.

STEFTALEE
You totally suck.

ALEX
Exercise is good for you.

STEFTALEE
So is cutting back on chocolate,
but I don’t see that one happening
any time soon. Just so we’re clear.
We come, we play poker, we drink
and possibly nourish ourselves. We
then thank them for their
hospitality and go, right? I’m not
going to get roped into cleaning
the house or being sacrificed to
some wacky god or anything?

ALEX
(duh)
All first timer’s have to get
sacrificed, it’s tradition.

She flat tyres him.

STEFTALEE
Tradition. How often do you guys
do this?

ALEX
Every two months.

STEFTALEE
What? You’re having a bi-monthly
poker game and I’m finding out
about it now? I’ve been here
three months!

ALEX
Every two months.

STEFTALEE
Yeah...?

ALEX
Bi-monthly means twice a month.

STEFTALEE
Then what’s the word for every
two months? There has to be one.

ALEX
...Sixth-annually?

STEFTALEE
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve
heard from you.
(beat)
Today.

ALEX
Most stupid.

STEFTALEE
What?

ALEX
More than one syllable, you have
to use “most”.

STEFTALEE
The hell are you on about?

ALEX
They’re called superlatives,
Miss Smart.

STEFTALEE
“They’re called superlatives,
Miss”-- You had to look that up
in a dictionary, didn’t you?

Uhh...

ALEX
--We’re here.

STEFTALEE
Is it physically possible to be
anywhere but “here”?

ALEX
Only if you’re Spanish.

STEFTALEE
That doesn’t make any sense.

ALEX
Ya mum.

They reach a clearing that’s being paved by construction workers.

STEFTALEE
So, which one’s your sister?

ALEX
What the..
(to everyone)
HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

A FOREMAN approaches.

FOREMAN
You alright there, son?

ALEX
I won’t be until you answer my
question.

FOREMAN
What’s it look like? We’re
clearing the land.

Alex is getting increasingly ticked. Stef stands in.

STEFTALEE
What for?

FOREMAN
The new bypass.

STEFTALEE
Did the old one retire?

ALEX
You can’t cut across someone’s
property because you feel like
laying down tar.

FOREMAN
Look around buddy - no one
lives here.

ALEX
Yes, there is.

FOREMAN
(understanding)
You’re one of those hick locals,
right? “This land is haunted”
and all that. Let me ask you
something then: if this land
really is crawling with ghosts,
where the hell are they?

ALEX
Good question.

Alex starts heading off to the house. The foreman turns to Stef.

STEFTALEE
Fo’shizzle.

EXT. CARPENTER’S HOUSE - DAY

The place is still the same - and yet, seems oddly creepy. It’s a little too quiet.

Alex’s storms up the lawn.

ALEX
AMY! THOM!

Stef finally catches up at her leisurely pace.

STEFTALEE
Haunted, this place? Nah.

Alex is already inside. She gets up to the verandah and stops at the door, hesitant.

STEFTALEE (CONT'D)
Uh, Alex? ALLEEEXXXXXXXXX!

ALEX (O.S.)
In here!

STEFTALEE
Oh really? I had no idea.

She eyes the door before and entering.

INT. CARPENTER’S HOUSE - DAY

There’s a fine layer of dust over the furniture, the odd cobweb here and there. No one’s been by in a while.

She gets to the open area by the stairs when Alex comes bounding down them.

ALEX
(worried)
They’re not here.

Stef holds up her dust-covered fingertips.

STEFTALEE
Figured.

He starts looking around, totally not panicking.

STEFTALEE (CONT'D)
Hey, maybe they went for a walk.

ALEX
They would have left a note.

He start a-cursin’ in french. Rather creatively.

STEFTALEE
Well, maybe they...
(gestures)
Y’know, crossed over.
(off his look)
No? Well then I got nothing.
I mean, they’re already dead
- what else could have happened?

ALEX
I don’t know.

END TEASER