Okay, this is another carry-over from the Nanowrimo forums (but I'm not entirely sure where to place it so if feel free to move it accordingly).

What year wouldn't be without a Dear Muse I Hate You thread? Feel free to put all letters here. Whether you hate your muse, your main characters being annoying, or your plot just won't work. Good luck on your scripts!

PS: I think there should be a "ScriptFrenzy Ate My Soul" thread in one of these forums too.

Dear Muse,

Where in the hell are you? We had an appointment and you broke it. I'll give you another 20 minutes but then I'm off to get drunk.

(Heh, this should be an interesting beginning to Screnzy, seeing as how I'm already here...)

Dear Myna,

Look, I'm sorry for ditching you partway in the story--what with the fact I got 50k in and then had a massive week of essay-writing--but is that really necessary to stop talking to me for a MONTH? I mean seriously, I know you're not looking forward to the end, when everyone dies, but being trapped in the middle of the woods with a group of humans, two of which already mistrust you, is only asking for trouble.

Besides, Screnzy is starting in 9 days and my attention is currently divided between Arien, Nathan, and Katharine. And no, you can't be included because "NO ELVES ALLOWED". I'm sorry, that's just how it is. And so help me, if an elf shows up, I WILL kill it off. Tabasco sauce has some interesting properties in it--as does a particular wolfdog that attacks on said command word.

Your Author,
PenGryphon

Dear Arien, Nathan, and Katharine,

Hello dear characters, I'm really excited to be working with you all, but I will expect some cooperation. Likewise, following the plot would be nice too. I know you all have wonderful stories to tell, which is why I'm considering a Television script for you, but you have to prove it. And Arien, ENOUGH with the pranks...if you hurt Bella, I WILL make her attack you with the command word of "Tabasco". You don't want that, trust me.

Nathan, I'm sorry for your rough life, but that's the way it had to be. And besides, Katharine won't bite--she's really very nice. Trust me. If you can stand Arien for as long as you have, you can stand just about anyone with infinite patience to spare. And maybe you'll find your ex-fiancee in one of the later episodes. We can even give her a quick death if you'd like.

Katharine, yes, I know you're insecure about your "deformity", but please, it's not like everyone's going to hate you instinctively. Can't you try to be a little more outgoing about it? Positive even? Not everything that happens is bad, even if it seems so at the time. Trust me, life WILL get better for you, just hang in there. (And no, you won't be killed off, you're practically part of the family already.) Just don't turn emo on me, please? Nathan's already leaning that way, and I don't need TWO people to do that, or else Arien is going to be pulling pranks constantly.

Your Loving Writer,
PenGryphon

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"Either a writer doesn't want to talk about his work, or he talks about it more than you want."
- Anatole Broyard
"Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it's the only way you can do anything really good."
- William Faulkner

EEK! I feel bad now... I just created this thread in the games forum. *headdesk* Sorry ya'll...

*Emailing moderators*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You ever heard of 3x5?

Dear Nathan, Arien and Katharine,

JUST 8 DAYS...please, bear with me. Just hold on for 8 more days, and then I promise you, I'll write your script. Please? I might even reconsider having Bella attack on the commands of "Tabasco" and "Snapple".

Not that your two-cents worth matters much, but I could really use your support. Please, just...don't leave me. I won't forgive you if you do...not that that would mean anything to any of you. *sigh*

Just 8 days--which is practically 7 now. Just a little while longer, and then Arien you can play all the pranks you want (with Tabasco included) and Nathan you can be emo and reclusive, and Katharine you can be shy and try to break out of your shell.

Thanks all. See you on April 1st!

-------------------
"Either a writer doesn't want to talk about his work, or he talks about it more than you want."
- Anatole Broyard
"Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it's the only way you can do anything really good."
- William Faulkner

Dearest Misty,

I suppose you're thinking that I poison your existence with my pitiful little whims? Well- from your point of view, that may be so... but remember that I only employ you for... say... sixty days a year. Plus exams. However LIFE makes me work everyday. Even on holidays. So I think I've got a... slightly more frustrating deal (to put things nicely).

But I'm not ranting- I'm asking. Once again I need your faithful love and devotion to keep me warm during these late nights... I need you to understand that it's important to me, and also that the knowledge of your deep and unwavering affection can be counted on, even in the direst of situations. Would you truly do me the honour of returning to my side, yet again? Of giving me ideas that will keep me writing way into the wee hours of the morning?

I fall onto my knees and beg of you now- give me a plot! Give me characters that are worthy of shattering worlds (and the audience's hearts)! Give me monsters, night creatures and nightmares! And I... I shall give you those tuna and chicken treats you love so much. All I want to do, now, is succeed, and I know that you can (and probably should) help me... so please... find it within yourself to shine a little light upon a poor struggling author.

Yours sincerely,

~Winter Solstice

[let's float in the sea that is the 'verse]

Dear Felicity,

I hope you haven't become too stale. It's not that long now until April. Glad I was able to get to know you better via that character biography checklist I found in Teach Yourself Screenwriting - I think we both learned a few things... yeah, about that. Sorry I made you so like me. And sorry about blowing the whistle on you to your mother. By the way, I hate to nag but could you sometime get round to thinking for names for those bloomin' ducks of yours?

Luv Beth xXx

Dearest Muse,

Thank you for everything you've given me and will give me - even though I've cursed you sometimes for drying up like an old sponge, or being embarassingly middle-of-the-road, slightly dull and normal, not being random enough, not appearing frequently enough, and giving some of my best ideas to Tim Burton (I know you don't think he's as hot as you make him out to be). Come to think of it that's probably why you don't talk very much. I appreciate you need some time to recharge... nevertheless, I think we make a great pair.

Until April?

Much love,

Your Bethany xXx

P.S. You screw this up for me and I'm sticking a knitting needle in my ear.

Dear Essays,

Please write yourselves, I'm too busy this April to write three essays, let alone read two books and write a script for my characters. Thank you.

~PenGryphon

Dear Bella,

I don't know how old to make you... If you're too young, I can't let you join Nathan and Arien, same goes for if you're too old.

~PenGryphon

-------------------
"Either a writer doesn't want to talk about his work, or he talks about it more than you want."
- Anatole Broyard
"Get it down. Take chances. It may be bad, but it's the only way you can do anything really good."
- William Faulkner

Dear Creativity,
What the heck is wrong with you?! You give me five bad ideas and no incredible, amazing, I-can't-wait-to-write-this idea! What am I supposed to do with a series about "death personified"/"angel of death" or some movie about the future with three characters and no plot?! I'm not Orwell, you know!
Give me something to work with, please. I know February was a long month (32 songs), but I know you've got something you're holding back from me. Just cough it up!
Hatefully,
Transience.
P.S. - If you don't help me out with a good idea soon, I'm going to start ignoring you more and more. I always told you the day would come when I would trade in the creative life for a "real" job like mom always told me to.

Dear Various Essays,
I know I've only got two months left of writing essays about crappy Early American Literature. Problem is, I don't have the time to spend coercing you to be good. I've spent the past few months doing that (ever since August). You've taken away from the rest of my schoolwork and I'm behind in everything else. So, if you could, work with me through the next two months. Maybe get me a B if possible. But during April, I'm sorry to say that I won't have forty hours a week to spend on you. So you're going to have to deal with the fact that whether you like it or not I'm writing you and you're going to go willfully because I'm not losing another writing "contest" to you!
Even more hatefully,
Transience.

-----------------------------------------------------------
I tried to be perfect, it just wasn't worth it.
I don't know how it got so bad.
It's hard to believe me, it never gets easy.
I guess I knew it all along.

Dear Mr. Utterson,
Please, just let me write that essay about you and then get out of my head. Stop lingering around and making me compare Melrose to Jekyll. He is nothing like Jekyll. Just because Jane and Jerome share your last name does not give you leave to mess around with my story. There will be no comparisons to Jekyll and Hyde in this graphic novel.

And you can stop being so difficult about that essay. It's for a very nice scholarship and it's due in a couple weeks, so please just cooperate and let me write it before Screnzy starts. You've been stubborn about it for months and I'm very tired of it.

Sincerely,
J. Daniel

Dear Simon,
Stop being so nice. You're not nice. You're the bad guy. An evil genius. So stop making me like you. I'm supposed to despise you.

And when did you go from being forty to being twenty-two? I did not give you permission to do that. And don't you dare turn into an Edward Elric ripoff, with this mechanic implantation thing you've started, because if you do, I will pull you out of the story altogether and let Johnson be the bad guy.

Sincerely,
J. Daniel
-----
NaNoWriMo 2007- The Januarian: 27,500 words
Screnzy 2008- The Mad Scientist of Brightwell Road

I just have one letter to write:

Dear Self,

SIT YOUR ASS DOWN IN THAT CHAIR AND WRITE!!!!

Thanks,
Self

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My pen is mightier than yours!
Script Frenzy '08: Ribbon of Scarlet