EXT. A Roadside Near The Ocean - Night

Jack's car is parked near the edge of a cliff. The setting is serene, or would be if not for the oddly precarious-looking perch of his van near the drop-off.

Jack and Demi's voices can be heard coming from inside-- arguing.

DEMI

I don't see why you had to play the big man and butt in. I was doing fine on my own.

JACK

Demi, you were not fine. Those guys were taking the piss out of you. It was two against one, OK? Totally unfair.

CUT TO...

INT. Jack's Car - Night

Demi is sitting curled up with his arms crossed over his chest, looking sulky-- also perhaps at this juncture attempting not to draw attention to his significantly reduced boobage. Jack has an arm around him. They are in the back of the van, with the back seat put down, huddled under a blanket. "Gimme Danger" is still playing softly on the car stereo. Silvery rain streaks the windows.

DEMI

You took care of them all by yourself.

JACK

(with charming evasiveness)

You got them ready for me.

Demi scowls and goes increasingly fetal. Anyone else would take the hint and make themselves happy with Jack's friendly bullshit, but to Demi, it seems patronizing.

DEMI

You're just saying that.

JACK

No, I--

DEMI

Yes, you are. When in fact I couldn't do anything about those two big, strong men.

JACK

(bracingly)

Well, hey, that's what I'm here for.

DEMI

(fiercely)

For?

JACK

(captures his hand, and speaks sincerely)

Looking out for my girlfriend.

Demi pulls away and moves to the other side of the car, curling up against the window and staring out into the night. Jack's brow furrows with concern.

JACK

Demi...

DEMI

(not looking at him)

Let's just fuck, OK?

Jack moves up behind him, wraps him in his arms, and speaks tenderly into his ear.

JACK

(slightly sternly)

Demi. Don't talk like that. That's not the only thing I want from you.

DEMI

(contrary, a bit mean)

Maybe it's the only I want from you. Ever think about that?

JACK

(mildly)

Thoughts like that would make me sad.

DEMI

The sensitive guy act won't get you laid any quicker, you know.

Back still to Jack, Demi begins to undo... his... pants. The moonlight-- OK, fine, the streetlamp's glow-- sillhouettes him. Gender is for the moment entirely indeterminate. Then Demi begins to slide his pants down his hips and everything is about to get horrifyingly vulnerable. Jack stops him, with his hands on Demi's waist.

JACK

It's OK to let your guard down with me, you know, Demi? Show me your sweet side, once in awhile, maybe?

Demi turns to look at him over his shoulder.

DEMI

You mean, be a girl?

JACK

Being a girl has nothing to do with it. Being my girl, maybe.

DEMI

So would you tell your guy friends that? That it's OK to be, like, vulnerable?

JACK

No. But then, I'm not so intimate with them.

DEMI

You mean you're not fucking them.

JACK

(finally getting annoyed)

Yes, I mean I am not fucking them.

DEMI

OK, well, what if you were?

It is Jack's turn to be defensive.

JACK

I wouldn't be.

DEMI

I know. I mean what if.

JACK

What do you mean, what if?

DEMI

What if you were fucking a dude?

JACK

(breathing deep, his patience severely tried)

Then I would be gay.

DEMI

Noooo, dumbfuck! I mean would you still try to have bullshit touchy feely sessions with him?

JACK

(exasperated)

Well, yes, of course, because I would be gay, wouldn't I, and I'd get back all those sensitivity points that I automatically lost just by being a heterosexual male!

DEMI

(relenting just slightly)

Hey, you can have mine.

JACK

(glowers)

You don't get any.

DEMI

Aw, why?

JACK

(sulkily)

Because you're a mean little ball-buster.

Demi turns back to him, and more or less crawls into his lap.

DEMI

(breathily)

Oh, am I?

JACK

(sighing)

Yes. But I still love you.

He grabs Demi's ass posessively and pulls him close. After a few moments of passionate mauling, Jack's hands seem about to slip under Demi's shirt. Demi grabs them and forces them away, and hastily makes a move to go down on him. Jack forestalls this, however.

JACK

Demi, let me make you feel good tonight.

Demi looks up at him in almost pure panic.

DEMI

It's fine.

JACK

Come on.

He pushes Demi down onto his back. Demi breathes too loud and too fast, fighting against him to get up. Jack holds him down, gently but forcibly, staring into Demi's eyes until he begins to subside.

His panic redoubles as Jack begins to push up his shirt.

DEMI

No!--

Too late. Jack is already staring at the ace bandage with an expression of abject puzzlement.

JACK

Demi... what is this?

Demi futilely attempts to pull down his shirt.

DEMI

(entirely unconvincing)

Nothing.

Jack grabs his wrists and pins his arms down, his gaze very intense.

JACK

Demi. Talk.

DEMI

What if I don't feel like it?

Jack releases him and gets off him, settling down beside him to look him in the face.

JACK

Then that's your choice. But if you never tell me what's going on there isn't a hope of this relationship working.

DEMI

Who said there was a hope, anyway?

The silence stretches. Demi breaks first.

DEMI

Jack, what makes a man? Is it what's between his legs-- or what's inside his skull?

JACK

What's in your head, of course. There's more to being a man than having a cock.

DEMI

Then what if someone... like, well, a girl... feels like a boy, inside their head...?

Jack knows already where this is going. He sits up with a loud groan.

JACK

Aw, no...

DEMI

What do you call someone like that?

JACK

(Agonized)

Shit no. Demi...

DEMI

By your own logic, isn't that person a man?

JACK

What logic? How fucking logical do you expect me to be right now?

DEMI

(without compassion)

Wow, you're acting like you're going through something really tough.

JACK

Well, yeah, I'm just now finding out my girlfriend wishes she was a dude!

DEMI

(still less sympathetically)

At least you were born with a dick.

JACK

(calming slightly)

Demi... fuck. I mean, how long have you known?

DEMI

(looking down)

A while.

JACK

(dangerously)

How long?

DEMI

Well, all my life.

JACK

All your life. Wow. And you didn't say a word. You just strung me along.

DEMI

(looking down, guilty)

I... didn't know how else I was gonna get a boyfriend.

JACK

(stares)

So you're gay, too.

DEMI

Yeah.

JACK

Shit. This is a lot for one night.

DEMI

(bitter)

Yeah. A night when you were gonna make me feel so good, too.

JACK

(stares hard at him, things beginning to click in his head)

So that's why you didn't want me to touch it.

Demi scrunches up in the corner and says nothing. He looks very boyish right now-- Jack's girlfriend has disappeared completely.

DEMI

(softly)

Yeah.

JACK

(long exhalation)

Fuck. Shit.

DEMI

(vulnerable and confrontational at once)

So do you still love me?

JACK

(totally off guard)

What?

DEMI

I'm a boy in here, Jack. (taps his skull) If you really loved me for that, then... you'd love the boy.

JACK

(extremely defensive)

What, so now you're mad at me because I'm not gay? Shit, I'm not sure that's even... gay. You'd have to be some kind of bisexual to make it work.

Tears are in Demi's eyes. Jack realizes too late that he's said too much. He reaches instinctively for Demi, soothing, an apology on his lips. Demi flinches away from a gesture that might just easily be to Jack's imaginary girlfriend-- how's he supposed to know it's even to his address?

JACK

Shit, Demi. I didn't mean it to sound like that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

DEMI

I guess you only wanted one thing from me after all.

He opens the car door and jumps out.