INT. CUBICLE - DAYTIME

Dave walks out of Rob's office and back to his desk, one of four cubicles in a bullpen area. The bullpen is in the middle of an entire floor of cubicles. Various decorations hang from the ceilings, with thematic clusters indicating where different groups are: one corner is James Bond, one block is classic arcade games, etc. A large banner on the wall says "HAPPY HALLOWEEN."

JACK, a scruffy late-20s slacker type, is sitting at the cubicle across from Dave's. Jack is wearing one of his many ironic T-shirts. This one is black and says "LAME HALLOWEEN COSTUME" in orange letters.

As Dave walks into the bullpen and toward his desk, Jack swivels in his chair and starts mock-dancing while seated.

JACK
(singing)
It's peanut butter jelly time! It's peanut butter jelly time!

DAVE
Okay, that got old about four hours ago.

JACK
Come on, Davey, you gotta sell the costume. It's all about the performance. Be the banana. Be the dance. Show me what you got.

DAVE
I'm really not in the mood, Jack.

JACK
You can't let Rob get you down, Davey. He is a classic pointy-haired manager. I mean, he's only been here, what, a month? And he thinks he can improve everything and take credit for it.

DAVE
Well, he had some pretty pointed things to say about my performance. I guess my peer reviews weren't that great.

JACK
Hey, I gave you a great review. But it doesn't matter anyway.

DAVE
What are you talking about?

JACK
This whole 360-degree review thing is bogus. They give us a lot of busy work so we feel like we have some say in the process, but at the end of the day, it's the managers who actually make the decisions. They don't have to listen to us.

DAVE
Look, I realize you have this whole cynical loner image to maintain, but Rob's really not a bad guy. He's just kind of clueless.

JACK
And thus we can manipulate him! That's what you're not getting, Dave. You can't play their game. You've got to negotiate on your own terms.

DAVE
Yeah. And how's that been working out for you?

JACK
I'm a simple man, my friend. I don't need a big salary or a corner office. I'm all about the work.

Dave looks over Jack's shoulder at his computer screen, which is showing some kind of image editing program.

DAVE
You're all about minimal effort. What important work are you doing right now?

JACK
Oh, hey, this is still a work in progress. But because we're such good friends, you can take a look. Tell me what you think.

Jack zooms in on the image so it fills the whole screen. He's taken the company logo and added two xkcd-style stick figures, one standing on the letters, the other below. The stick figure on top is urinating a dashed line onto the lower one. The modified text reads: "Yip, pee!"

DAVE
Wow. I bet this took you all morning.

JACK
Everyone's a critic. This may look simple to your untrained eye, but every line has been precisely placed for maximum effect.

DAVE
This is for that Fark contest, isn't it.

JACK
Absolutely.

DAVE
So when you say "work in progress," you mean you still have to add some kind of crude sexual reference--

JACK
Oh, at least four or five.

DAVE
--and then turn it into an animated GIF.

JACK
With sparkles.

DAVE
Okay. I'm going to turn away now and try to do some actual work.