ACT ONE

4 INT. THE YARD - HALLWAY - LATER THAT DAY

An elevator DINGS, and the doors open to reveal JACK MASTER--36, over six feet tall, purple-haired and red-eyed, somewhat androgynous or effeminate, thin, and quirky, fidgeting like a squirrel, doll-faced (drawn on eyebrows, perhaps; pink lips and cheeks, etc.)--and JOHNNY WILKINS--also 36, a blue-eyed blond in a nice suit, slightly shorter and more professional than Master, but with his own host of quirks. Master checks his pocket watch and smiles impishly at Wilkins.

MASTER
We’re late.

WILKINS
(feigning surprise)
No kidding?

MASTER
(shrugs)
Well, if you hadn’t insisted that that ink--

WILKINS
(blushing, embarrassed or ashamed)
Oh, do drop it!

The doors start to close and Master DIVES forward to block it, stumbling out into the hallway when the door opens easily. He quickly straightens and brushes himself off, trying to restore some semblance of dignity.

WILKINS
(steps out after him casually)
Smooth, Jackie. Smooth.

MASTER
(sarcastically)
I guess I’m just falling head-over-heels with excitement into this case, hm? But really, if I had my cane--

WILKINS
Because, obviously, throwing yourself bodily between elevator doors is the only other option.

MASTER
--And I wouldn’t have forgotten it had you not--

WILKINS
Oh, do drop it! Get going, we’re late.

They start walking down the hall.

MASTER
Oh, God. Here it comes.

WILKINS
Mm-hmm.

MASTER
The lecture.

WILKINS
Bruce waited until the last moment to finally call you, and I had to persuade Odell to let you in again--and you know that that’s no easy task.

MASTER
Believe it or not, I’ve already thanked you. So what are you still fishing for?

WILKINS
You’re the genius psychologist; you figure that out.

MASTER
(rolling his eyes in reluctant admittance)
Yeah, yeah. For me to stop complaining and take full, grateful advantage of this singular opportunity you have so arduously procured for my benefit.

WILKINS
The least you could do is not botch this up with Odell in the first five minutes.

MASTER
But once we hit the six minute mark, we’re okay? Should I time it?

WILKINS
(sarcastically)
Right. Because I’m sure he’ll have forgiven you by then.
(semi-seriously)
Not everyone’s as forgiving as Leicester.

MASTER
You call that ‘forgiving’?

WILKINS
Well, he hasn’t fired you.

MASTER
Yet. And he has cut me off cases.

WILKINS
In special circumstances, only, and more for your good than the patient’s.

MASTER
He’s always been impatient.

WILKINS
‘Patient’ jokes never get old, do they?

MASTER
Nope. But what does is you insisting--

WILKINS
Just drop it!

They stop outside the Interview Room #4 and start bickering like young siblings, hissing accusations--“Well if you hadn’t. . .” and “Oh, no, I did not!”--and getting in each other’s faces. While they bicker, Wilkins discreetly opens the door and pushes Master unceremoniously inside. Master doesn’t flinch and makes the transition seamlessly.

5 INT. THE YARD - INTERVIEW ROOM #4 - CONTINUOUS

MASTER
Ah, good to see you, Odell. Thanks for this opportunity.
(nodding to Bruce)
Inspector.