SCENE 3: LIVE FROM NEW YORK

EXT: IN THE DRIVEWAY OF THE ESTATE A FEW SECONDS LATER.

Parked behind Jason's tasteful grey Honda and Douglas's Fire engine red Ford Explorer is a beige Mercedes convertible. The Mercede's owner is Giselle, Jason's landlord, a wealthy French woman in her early 60s. The other person is a young man in his 30s, who looks somewhat disheveled. Giselle is trying to help the young man out of the car.

GISELLE

There you are! Help me to get your friend Raoul out of the car, he is hurt - a badly sprained ankle I would say. He wrecked his car about two miles from here, but escaped with just a little injury. But Mon Dieu, you should see the car! Lucky for him, I came upon the scene. Since no one else was involved, I told him to leave the car and brought him along.

JASON

I'm not expecting anyone named Raoul. I don't even know anyone named Raoul! Who is this guy?

Jason helps Raoul out of the car, then hands him a clean handkerchief.

JASON

Hey pal, you've got a small cut above your eye that's starting to bleed. Wouldn't want to mess up Giselle's car. Give me your sunglasses and you can use my handkerchief.

Raoul is wearing extremely tight jeans and a fashion tee shirt that shows off his muscles. He is tan and extremely handsome, although a bit dirty from his car wreck, and limping badly. As he pulls off his sunglasses, Jason does a double take.

JASON

Wait a minute! I do remember you! Raoul! What on earth are you doing here?

GISELLE

From the way he talked in the car, I thought you were old friends. But more like gay boy acquaintances? Did you meet in some New York bar or what? Is this some Eurotrash pickup? I can have some of the farmhands throw him off the property . . .

JASON

No, no, no, that isn't necessary! Raoul and I are friends, it's just, well, it's just been a while. And I didn't recognize him with sunglasses.

RAOUL

Madame Giselle, please don't talk about me that way. I appreciate so much your rescuing me! I was planning on surprising Jason for his birthday, that's why he wasn't expecting me. I have a hotel room in town, but what with wrecking the car and all . . .

GISELLE

A surprise, how nice! But Jason's birthday isn't until July. That's two months away.

RAOUL

I may have gotten the dates mixed up. But Jason, can't you help me inside and offer me a drink? I did THINK it was your birthday. And now I have to deal with my wrecked car and a badly swollen ankle.

JASON

Of course, what am I thinking. Give me your arm, my place is on the second floor. Giselle, I can take care of this. My brother Douglas is over, too, he can help.

GISELLE

If that's what you want, I will go ahead and leave you to your pain. I'll come back later and check on everything.

JASON

That won't be necessary, I'll call if we need help.

Jason gives Giselle a little hug and gets her to smile. But as Giselle gets in her car and moves on down the driveway, Jason claps his hand to his forehead and groans.

JASON

Raoul, you should NOT have come here.

RAOUL

I've been emailing you for months and you've been ignoring my messages. Why? I told you I think I'm falling for you and I want us to spend time together and see if it could go anywhere.

JASON

Raoul, you are a prostitute. I told you, I have absolutely no interest in getting involved with you. How did you get my address anyway? And aren't you breaking the number one cardinal rule of prostitutes? Never get involved? I think I saw that in a movie years ago about the Happy Hooker . . .

RAOUL

You are most unkind. I am a man with a heart. You were the most fun one night stand I have ever had, even if your check did bounce. As for how I found you, I searched the Internet using Google. I have a right to love just like the next gay man.

JASON

Listen, you may have the right to love, but not with me. I am not interested. Period. I told you that from day one. God. ONE TIME I decide to call a prostitute and the one I pick decides he has a thing for me. Listen, you little conniving bastard. I am going to take you upstairs, let you fix yourself up, give you one drink and have my brother take you back to your hotel. My brother is straight, and you are NOT telling him anything about you, me or your line of work. Capiche?

RAOUL

(SULKILY)

I don't have a hotel room, I just made that up. Don't forget, you owe me for that one night. The least you can do is put me up for the trouble I've gone to to find you.

JASON

I'll pay you cash, you jerk. Oh, damn, I gave all my cash to the housekeeper. All right, you can stay until tomorrow. Then I'll take you into town and stop by an ATM and get you some dough. Come on and remember: not a word to my brother. And another thing. I have my new boyfriend Mason coming over for dinner. You will stay out of sight while we dine or I will definitely have Giselle call some of her large, heterosexual farmhands to escort you back to your wrecked car.

RAOUL

You have a boyfriend? I am devastated. But I promise to keep quiet. I am beginning to see that you are not quite the kind of guy I am looking for. For one thing, you live in a barn! Artistic, perhaps, but not where I want to settle down.

JASON

You haven't even seen what I've done with the place. Wait a minute, what am I saying? Of course you don't want to settle down here. It's a dump, and drafty too. I'm just a poor artist - and didn't my check bounce? Come on, you nefarious nellie, I'll help you upstairs.

Jason pulls Raoul's arm across his shoulder and awkwardly helps him into the barn.